3 Powerful Lessons from Jesus on Dealing with Religious Narcissists
Religious narcissists are individuals who cloak themselves in faith, appearing deeply connected to God. They may be regular attendees at prayer meetings, display impressive biblical knowledge, and even lead religious teachings. However, behind their pious exterior, they are at war with God. Often unaware of their hypocrisy, they embody the traits of narcissism, including arrogance, lack of empathy, and a constant need for validation. In this article, we’ll explore three unforgettable lessons Jesus taught about dealing with such people, based on the story of religious leaders from His time.
Understanding Religious Narcissists
A religious narcissist is someone who outwardly demonstrates devotion to God but lacks humility, empathy, and a genuine connection to others. These individuals often demand admiration and control over others while hiding behind religious actions. They have traits similar to other narcissists: arrogance, entitlement, and a need for constant validation.
Religious narcissists use their position to manipulate and exploit people, convincing others that they are spiritually superior. They often seek power and admiration, creating a hierarchy where they place themselves above others. Like modern-day narcissists, the religious leaders in Jesus’s time exhibited similar behaviors. They were angry, envious, and constantly plotted to destroy anyone who threatened their sense of control.
Religious Leaders in Jesus’s Time
In the Bible, Jesus encountered many religious leaders who displayed narcissistic traits. These leaders, particularly the Pharisees, used religion to control and oppress others, rather than guiding them towards God. They were quick to judge, harsh in their treatment of people, and eager to maintain their superiority.
One of the defining traits of these leaders was their deep-seated hatred for anyone who challenged their authority. When Jesus healed people on the Sabbath, instead of rejoicing in their healing, the Pharisees were filled with rage. They envied Jesus because He received more admiration and honor than they did, which fueled their hatred to the point of wanting to crucify Him. Their obsession with control and power led them to plot Jesus’s death in the most humiliating way possible—on the cross.
Jesus’s Teachings About Religious Hypocrites
In Matthew 23, Jesus addresses the hypocrisy of the religious leaders and offers guidance on how to respond to such individuals. Here are three powerful lessons Jesus shared about dealing with religious narcissists:
1. Follow Their Teachings, But Not Their Actions
Jesus acknowledged that while religious narcissists may teach biblical truths, their actions contradict their words. He said, “Do and observe whatever they tell you, but not the works they do, for they preach but do not practice.” This means that even though their teachings might be correct, their lives do not align with the values they preach.
Religious narcissists often use words as tools to manipulate others. While their messages may move people’s hearts, they themselves rarely practice what they preach. Jesus compared them to “whitewashed tombs”—beautiful on the outside but filled with deadness on the inside. As followers of God, we are encouraged to listen to their teachings but not to emulate their behavior.
2. They Place Heavy Burdens on Others
Another important trait Jesus pointed out is that religious narcissists impose unreasonable burdens on others. Jesus said, “They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger.” Narcissists have unattainable expectations of others while excusing themselves from meeting those same standards.
Religious narcissists are quick to point out the smallest flaws in others while neglecting the weightier matters of the heart. Jesus highlighted their hypocrisy when He said, “You tithe even the tiniest income from your herb gardens but ignore the more important aspects of the law—justice, mercy, and faith.” They are meticulous about outward religious duties but fail to cultivate love, compassion, and humility in their hearts.
3. Their Deeds Are Done for Public Recognition
Jesus made it clear that religious narcissists crave admiration and praise. He said, “They do all their deeds to be seen by others.” Narcissists spend more time crafting an image of spirituality than actually growing in their relationship with God. Their actions are often motivated by a desire for recognition rather than a genuine love for God and others.
They love to be greeted with honor, given the best seats at gatherings, and called by prestigious titles. Jesus warned against seeking titles for self-glorification and reminded His followers that true greatness lies in humility and service. The greatest among us should be servants, not those who exalt themselves.
How to Respond to Religious Narcissists
After exposing the hypocrisy of religious narcissists, Jesus gave clear instructions on how His followers should respond to such individuals:
1. Avoid the Pride of Seeking Honor
Jesus instructed His followers not to seek lofty titles or positions of honor. He said, “You are not to be called Rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all brothers.” Narcissists often pursue honor and admiration, but Jesus called His disciples to avoid this trap. Instead of striving for superiority, we are to see ourselves as equal in value to others, all under the ultimate authority of God.
2. Look to God as Your True Guide
Jesus emphasized that God is our true Father and Teacher. He said, “You have one Father, who is in heaven, and one instructor, the Christ.” When dealing with religious narcissists, we should not rely on them for spiritual guidance. Instead, we are to look to God for instruction and wisdom. While it is important to honor godly leadership, we must discern whether leaders are truly following God or seeking their own gain.
3. Embrace Humility and Service
Finally, Jesus reminded His followers that true greatness comes through humility. He said, “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” Religious narcissists strive to elevate themselves, but God opposes the proud and exalts the humble. Jesus encouraged His disciples to embrace a heart of service, seeking to serve others rather than pursuing power and recognition.
Conclusion: Navigating Relationships with Religious Narcissists
Religious narcissists use faith as a tool to manipulate and control others, seeking validation and honor. Jesus’s teachings in Matthew 23 provide invaluable guidance for navigating relationships with such individuals. By following Jesus’s example of humility, looking to God for guidance, and avoiding the trap of seeking honor, we can protect ourselves from the harmful influence of religious narcissists.
If you have encountered someone who displays the traits of a religious narcissist, know that you are not alone. Jesus experienced this firsthand with the religious leaders of His day. For more insights on dealing with religious narcissists, check out the video 3 Unforgettable Things Jesus Said You Should Do When You Encounter Religious Narcissists.