6 Unusual Habits of Covert Narcissists You Should Know About

Covert narcissism is often difficult to detect, but there are some peculiar habits that can help you recognize it. These behaviors may not seem obvious at first, but once you start connecting the dots, they reveal the covert narcissist’s true nature. In this article, we will explore six weird habits that many covert narcissists exhibit. Keep in mind that while these traits can be common among covert narcissists, they aren’t definitive signs on their own. However, they can be strong indicators that you’re dealing with someone who has covert narcissistic tendencies.

1. They Get Bored Easily

One of the most common habits of covert narcissists is their constant boredom. They often get fixated on acquiring new things, like a new phone, car, or gadget, and obsess over them for a short period. But soon after, their interest fades, and they begin looking for the next shiny object. This pattern isn’t limited to material things—it also extends to people. Covert narcissists quickly lose interest in relationships once they feel they’ve extracted all the attention or validation they can from their partner.
This habit of easily getting bored stems from their need for constant external validation. They feel empty inside and require new sources of excitement to keep themselves stimulated. This is why, if you’re in a relationship with a covert narcissist, you may feel like you’re being used or discarded when they no longer find you exciting or beneficial to their needs.

2. Lack of a Genuine Sense of Humor

Covert narcissists often lack a real sense of humor, or at least it seems that way when you’re around them. While they might laugh along with their friends or in social situations, you may notice that they don’t laugh at your jokes or don’t get humor the same way others do. Sometimes, their reactions to jokes feel forced or fake, especially when they’re with people they want to impress.
This is because covert narcissists tend to be socially awkward and insecure, and they may struggle with connecting genuinely to humor. When they do show humor, it might be part of a facade to fit in socially. With close partners or family members, their lack of response to humor can feel cold and distant, leaving you wondering why they don’t find the same things funny.

3. Extreme Privacy

Another odd habit of covert narcissists is their extreme need for privacy. They are secretive, not only about their personal lives but also about their relationships with family and friends. They keep these relationships at arm’s length, never letting people get too close. This could be because they don’t want their friends or family to witness the emotional abuse they inflict on those closest to them.
They often shield their inner circle from each other, which allows them to maintain control. Even their closest friends or family members may not know the full extent of who they truly are, because the covert narcissist carefully curates what they share with each person. This secretive nature creates an isolated environment for their partner, making it harder to form a support system outside of the relationship.

4. Talking Negatively About Friends

One habit you may notice early on is how a covert narcissist talks behind their friends’ backs. Despite having close relationships, they often criticize and belittle their friends once they leave the room. They share intimate details about their friends’ lives, casting doubt on their stability or integrity.
This habit is part of a larger strategy to subtly undermine others. By talking negatively about their friends, the covert narcissist ensures that if those friends ever speak out against them, they’ve already sown seeds of doubt. This tactic protects the narcissist’s reputation while damaging others’ credibility, positioning themselves as superior or more trustworthy in your eyes.

5. Addiction to Pornography

While this habit doesn’t apply to every covert narcissist, many do struggle with pornography addiction. This is more common in men but can also be present in women. Covert narcissists often develop unhealthy obsessions with pornography, sometimes to the point where it impacts their relationships. For some, this addiction may even lead to issues like erectile dysfunction, which they then blame on external factors or their partner.
The addiction to pornography reflects their deeper issues with control, validation, and detachment. They may use porn as a substitute for real intimacy or to avoid dealing with the emotional complexities of a relationship. This habit can create significant strain in their romantic partnerships, as their partner feels neglected or undervalued.

6. A Strange Relationship with Sex

Sex, for covert narcissists, is often more about control than intimacy. They may use sex as a way to manipulate their partner, withholding it to punish or control behavior. Alternatively, some covert narcissists might display an insatiable sexual appetite, using sex as a means of asserting dominance or gaining attention.
In extreme cases, they might demand sex during inappropriate or emotional moments, such as during times of grief or stress. This lack of empathy and disregard for their partner’s emotional state is a hallmark of covert narcissistic behavior. They prioritize their own needs, even in the most vulnerable or delicate situations, and may throw tantrums or become upset when those needs aren’t met.

Conclusion: Recognizing the Patterns

These six habits may not be the most obvious signs of covert narcissism, but they are telling. If you recognize these behaviors in someone you know, it may be worth taking a closer look at their overall patterns of behavior. Covert narcissists often hide their true selves behind a facade, making them hard to detect. By paying attention to these unusual habits, you can better understand what’s really going on and take steps to protect yourself.
I’ve encountered similar traits in my experiences with covert narcissists, and learning about these habits has been eye-opening. If you’re interested in learning more, check out this video for further insights: 6 Weird Habits of a Covert Narcissist.