5 Ways a Narcissist Treats You When You’re Sick: Understanding Their Behavior

Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally draining, and it becomes even more difficult when you are sick or vulnerable. When you’re feeling your worst, whether physically or emotionally, a narcissist’s reaction can often reveal their true nature. In this article, I will explore five ways that a narcissist might treat you when you’re sick, drawing from personal experience and common patterns of narcissistic behavior. These insights will help you understand why they behave the way they do and how to protect yourself during these challenging times.

1. They Act Sicker Than You

One of the most common behaviors narcissists exhibit when you’re sick is to outdo you by acting as if they’re sicker than you. If you’ve caught the flu, for example, instead of showing concern or helping you recover, the narcissist might start complaining about how they’re feeling much worse. This behavior shifts the focus back to them, ensuring they remain the center of attention, even when you’re the one in need of care.
This tactic often leaves you feeling confused and unsupported. Narcissists thrive on being the focal point in every situation, and they struggle with the idea of giving attention or care to someone else. By pretending to be sicker, they not only dismiss your needs but also manipulate you into caring for them, despite your own illness.

2. They Shame You for Being Sick

Another way narcissists treat you when you’re unwell is by shaming you for being sick in the first place. They might suggest that your illness is a sign of weakness, blaming you for not being strong enough to stay healthy. Comments like “If you weren’t so weak, you wouldn’t be sick” or “You always get sick because you’re not taking care of yourself” are typical.
Shaming is a common manipulation tactic that narcissists use to maintain control. By making you feel guilty for something beyond your control, they ensure you stay dependent on their approval, even when you’re at your most vulnerable. This behavior is particularly cruel, as it adds emotional distress to an already difficult physical situation.

3. They Ignore You Completely

Perhaps one of the most heartless responses you can experience from a narcissist when you’re sick is complete indifference. Narcissists often disregard your illness as it doesn’t fit into their agenda. They may act as though your sickness is a minor inconvenience or simply pretend it’s not happening at all.
Imagine you’re bedridden with a fever, struggling to get out of bed, and the narcissist simply walks out the door to go get themselves a meal, without even considering if you need help. This lack of empathy is typical of narcissists. They don’t register the needs of others because their sole focus is on their own comfort and desires. The idea of caring for someone else, even when that person is in genuine need, simply does not occur to them.

4. They See Your Sickness as an Attack on Them

Narcissists often perceive your illness as a personal attack. To them, your sickness is an inconvenience, a disruption to their life, and they might even accuse you of faking it to “ruin” their plans. You may hear phrases like, “Are you really sick, or are you just trying to make things difficult for me?”
This response leaves you in the awkward and absurd position of having to “prove” that you’re actually sick. It creates a cycle where the narcissist refuses to believe in your need for care and instead makes your illness about them. This self-centered reaction shows their complete inability to understand or empathize with the needs of others, further isolating you during your time of need.

5. They Abandon You When You’re Sick

The final and perhaps most extreme reaction from a narcissist is outright abandonment. When you become sick, some narcissists might simply leave, unwilling to be burdened by your needs. In their minds, your sickness is your problem, not theirs. They’ll take off, leaving you to fend for yourself.
Narcissists often come back once they believe you should be “better,” but only because they no longer have to deal with your illness. During the time you’re sick, they feel no obligation to support or help you, as it doesn’t serve their needs. Their return is often timed to ensure they can regain control and resume receiving attention.

Conclusion: Recognizing the Narcissist’s Lack of Empathy

These five behaviors highlight a fundamental truth about narcissists—they lack empathy. Whether they act sicker than you, shame you for being ill, ignore your needs, accuse you of faking it, or abandon you, their reactions demonstrate a total disregard for anyone but themselves. This lack of empathy is especially evident when you’re at your most vulnerable, like when you’re sick.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, whether it’s a romantic partner, family member, or friend, it’s essential to recognize these patterns and take steps to protect yourself. No one should have to endure such cold, dismissive treatment, especially when they are unwell. Trust your instincts and take care of your well-being first.
I’ve encountered many of these behaviors personally, and it took time to understand what was truly happening. If you’re dealing with a narcissist in your life, I hope this article helps you see things more clearly. For more insights on narcissistic behavior, check out this video: 5 Ways a Narcissist Treats You When You’re Sick.